There is someone in my life I THOUGHT liked me, until she stabbed me repeatedly in my back. And unfortunately, she will be in my life forever, as she is family. She smiles daggers at me, if that makes sense.
I honestly pretty much cut her out for a year after one horrible incident. I knew I had to forgive her, but I just couldn’t seem to be able to do it. I finally forced myself to forgive her, and after forcing myself it came easier, and then real. I tried to think about how Jesus looked at her. That was a bit (nevermind bit, VERY) hard, but it helped me love her regardless of how she felt about me.
As far as respecting, I’m still having a hard time with it. I think your friend may be right, in that there are relationships Jesus puts in our paths that force us to grow. So I’m hoping that in this I will grow more… hoping desperately.
All you can do is try… try to forgive, try to see them as Jesus does, try to understand that there may be reasons OUTSIDE of you that causes this person to be so harsh or mean toward you. All you can do is try. And then try again. And again. I think it gets easier with time. The cuts start to hurt less and mean less as you try to see them through Jesus’ eyes and realize they are human too.
This Amanda person seems so wise! She knows you well and seems to really care about you!
I would trust what she is saying and find peace in ONLY what God says about you. When you meet Him, it will be Him alone, not a great crowd of people who liked and disliked you. They do not matter. Except of course this Amanda person….she matters.
I always try to remember that I can not base my thoughts on someone’s reactions to me. Even the Lord, perfect in every way, does not change his reaction of pure LOVE towards us…no matter what we do…so does she really matter?
Jess… I’ve been through this a lot recently – different people – different times. I believe that God has been trying to teach me how to give people the benefit of the doubt. For instance… maybe there is something she is dealing with personally that has made you feel like a threat or an annoyance in her life. But, that is not your problem. Besides, you’ve been there before, right? I mean, we all have. We’ve all disliked someone for some reason or another. In this situation, I think you should simply remind yourself that you ARE a great person and Jesus loves you just as much as He loves her. Maybe she is dealing with something in her life that is making her behave this way. You are still called to love her… to give her the benefit of the doubt. And most of all – pray FOR her.
And on top of it all… simply remember… you can’t please everyone. Even Jesus couldn’t please everyone.
The woman who was supposed to love me no matter what. The one who was supposed to be there to support me.
Not the case.
So, about a month ago, I had it out with her. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I was shaking and nervous and a friend prayed with me over the phone as I drove there. I didn’t let my emotions get involved because I did NOT want her to see just how much her not liking me was getting to me.
Stuff from years…yeeeaarrs ago was brought up. Hard stuff. But stuff that needed to come out.
I know things she’s said about me to people and it hurts but I had to choose to forgive her. And after our huge talk, our relationship has been so much better.
It’s not easy to have someone not like you. In fact…it blows.
Jess, I deal with this as well.
There is someone in my life I THOUGHT liked me, until she stabbed me repeatedly in my back. And unfortunately, she will be in my life forever, as she is family. She smiles daggers at me, if that makes sense.
I honestly pretty much cut her out for a year after one horrible incident. I knew I had to forgive her, but I just couldn’t seem to be able to do it. I finally forced myself to forgive her, and after forcing myself it came easier, and then real. I tried to think about how Jesus looked at her. That was a bit (nevermind bit, VERY) hard, but it helped me love her regardless of how she felt about me.
As far as respecting, I’m still having a hard time with it. I think your friend may be right, in that there are relationships Jesus puts in our paths that force us to grow. So I’m hoping that in this I will grow more… hoping desperately.
All you can do is try… try to forgive, try to see them as Jesus does, try to understand that there may be reasons OUTSIDE of you that causes this person to be so harsh or mean toward you. All you can do is try. And then try again. And again. I think it gets easier with time. The cuts start to hurt less and mean less as you try to see them through Jesus’ eyes and realize they are human too.
This Amanda person seems so wise! She knows you well and seems to really care about you!
I would trust what she is saying and find peace in ONLY what God says about you. When you meet Him, it will be Him alone, not a great crowd of people who liked and disliked you. They do not matter. Except of course this Amanda person….she matters.
hehehehehehehehehe
Honey….I deal with this kind of stuff ALL the time!
Water off a ducks back.
I like you
I always try to remember that I can not base my thoughts on someone’s reactions to me. Even the Lord, perfect in every way, does not change his reaction of pure LOVE towards us…no matter what we do…so does she really matter?
Love!
Jess… I’ve been through this a lot recently – different people – different times. I believe that God has been trying to teach me how to give people the benefit of the doubt. For instance… maybe there is something she is dealing with personally that has made you feel like a threat or an annoyance in her life. But, that is not your problem. Besides, you’ve been there before, right? I mean, we all have. We’ve all disliked someone for some reason or another. In this situation, I think you should simply remind yourself that you ARE a great person and Jesus loves you just as much as He loves her. Maybe she is dealing with something in her life that is making her behave this way. You are still called to love her… to give her the benefit of the doubt. And most of all – pray FOR her.
And on top of it all… simply remember… you can’t please everyone. Even Jesus couldn’t please everyone.
For me, this person is (was?) my mother.
The woman who was supposed to love me no matter what. The one who was supposed to be there to support me.
Not the case.
So, about a month ago, I had it out with her. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I was shaking and nervous and a friend prayed with me over the phone as I drove there. I didn’t let my emotions get involved because I did NOT want her to see just how much her not liking me was getting to me.
Stuff from years…yeeeaarrs ago was brought up. Hard stuff. But stuff that needed to come out.
I know things she’s said about me to people and it hurts but I had to choose to forgive her. And after our huge talk, our relationship has been so much better.
It’s not easy to have someone not like you. In fact…it blows.
Praying for you.