You know, the first thing I thought of when reading your counselor’s response to you being angry at God was a quote I came across on another person’s blog…
“God’s chest is big enough and strong enough to pound on.”
Just like Jeremiah raging at God in Lamentations 3…until he finally begins to praise. God is big enough for all of your anger and fear. It may feel safer to rage at Hugh, but go ahead and let it all out to God instead. As you said, when you do that the seed of faith and trust gets bigger. You can get to the point of praise that Jeremiah reaches. I pray God will give you small glimpses of His purpose…even as I pray that for myself. Love you. (((hugs)))
Your post made me feel like laughing and crying at the same time.
Yes, he is good. And he just loves your honesty. He just loves hanging around you and being in relationship with you, even when you are mad.
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, YES!!.. When Seth was doing so poorly after his 2nd surgery, before we knew he was going to die, I asked a friend of mine (sort of my “spiritual mom”) what it said about my faith that I was So angry at God and she said “It says you know that He is big enough to handle it.”
I used to drive back & forth to work, telling myself, OUT LOUD:
“God is good, He loves me, He is enough.”.. I still have to do it but only occasionally…
You know, the first thing I thought of when reading your counselor’s response to you being angry at God was a quote I came across on another person’s blog…
“God’s chest is big enough and strong enough to pound on.”
It really stuck with me and I thought I’d pass is on. Here is his blog:
http://www.thisisreverb.com/2009/06/some-things-im-learning.html
Just like Jeremiah raging at God in Lamentations 3…until he finally begins to praise.
God is big enough for all of your anger and fear. It may feel safer to rage at Hugh, but go ahead and let it all out to God instead. As you said, when you do that the seed of faith and trust gets bigger. You can get to the point of praise that Jeremiah reaches. I pray God will give you small glimpses of His purpose…even as I pray that for myself. 
Love you. (((hugs)))
Your post made me feel like laughing and crying at the same time.
Yes, he is good. And he just loves your honesty. He just loves hanging around you and being in relationship with you, even when you are mad.
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, YES!!.. When Seth was doing so poorly after his 2nd surgery, before we knew he was going to die, I asked a friend of mine (sort of my “spiritual mom”) what it said about my faith that I was So angry at God and she said “It says you know that He is big enough to handle it.”
I used to drive back & forth to work, telling myself, OUT LOUD:
“God is good, He loves me, He is enough.”.. I still have to do it but only occasionally…
I love your heart!!! Hugs to you!