Bless My Heart

“Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be (Matthew 6: 20-21).

Hugh is out of town. So I decided the best thing to do was to run to Target and buy a season of a TV show for me to watch while he is away. I perused the titles carefully and chose one. “Smart and sophisticated” said the Wall Street Journal. Yep, that is a perfect fit for me because I see myself as smart and sophisticated.

How late did I stay up last night watching television? Oh, um, until ONE O’CLOCK. I was immediately gripped by the drama of my new show. I was pulled into the heart-wrenching affairs and dysfunctional family life that my new purchase was pouring out on my greedy little eyes. One o’clock. And me, with a full day today. I mean, what is wrong with me?

Just when I think I’ve hit maturity. Just when I feel like I’ve entered a new phase with the Lord where I have clarity and focus. Then I make a stupid media choice and get sucked into to a fake TV drama and stay up too late and I become so tired that even my strong second cup of Starbucks house blend won’t perk me up. Ugh.

(Fun side note to my husband who is reading this from hundreds of miles away from his tired wife: Honey, the new DVD I put in the DVD player last night destroyed it. I’m not sure what happened, but now the DVD player makes a funny clicking sound. Sorry.)

This morning I read some of the Sermon on the Mount. I always try to look for the verse that really connects with me that day and write it down. My verse this morning was Matthew 6:20-21. Jesus says that I need to store up treasures in heaven because wherever my treasure is, there the desires of my heart will also be.

I realized this morning that I have a choice in what I daily store up. And what I store up will determine the condition of my heart. When I store up hours of crappy television and wasted computer time, I find that my heart becomes less sensitive to the things of God. I’m not as interested in hearing from Him, instead I’m more interested in what will happen on the next episode of my sophisticated TV drama.

So, anyway, I’m thinking that because disc one of my new TV series destroyed my DVD player, I can totally return it to Target (where the checker will greet me with a familiar grin and say, “Here comes Jess again, bless her little heart.”). Then I will plan on going to bed early tonight so I can be rested and actually live out the purposes of God in my life instead of walking around in a fog.

Lord, please give me a passion for things of you in my life. Also, Father, please give me the wisdom to go to bed and get the sleep I need. God, thank you that you love me even when I don’t make great choices. I love you!