Mourning Into Dancing

Reasons I Want To Give Into Materialism and Forget All About the True Meaning Of Christmas:

1. Ok. I’d really like an IPhone.

2. Even though I feel guilty and nostalgic walking past the forlorn Salvation Army man ringing the bell in front of my grocery story, I never stop and give any money in the sad. chipped. red. bucket.

3. I think maybe my kids will like me more if they have a lot of cool toys to open on Christmas morning. I still remember the green boom box I got when I was eight. I played my Paula Abdul loud and proud on that thing. I think I loved my step-dad more because of that gift. I mean, yes, he did have an anger problem, but the radio was awesome!

4. When my husband sits down with me and suggests we give our gift money to buy goats for poor families in Cambodia, I always get teary and wonder why he wants to hurt me.

5. I think that it would be really fun to buy all my friends really nice gift cards to Bath and Body Works this year. And put the gift cards in really cute little bags with silver and blue paper with some sort of cool-looking reindeer dancing on the front of the bag. Then my friends would know that I really, really love them. Because I can’t figure out how to show them I love them by spending under ten dollars apiece on them. What the heck am I supposed to get them for ten bucks that says, “I love you. Thank you for pouring out love and encouragement and prayer on me this year. Sincerely, Jess.” Seriously.

6. If I was giving into Christmas materialism, then I could order our Christmas meal from a local personal chef. That chef would come to my house and set everything up. I would sit on my couch, talking on my IPhone, while occasionally directing them as to where to put the herb-crusted turkey and fresh salmon on little toast points. Mmm.

7. If I decided to not focus on the true meaning of Christmas then I would put away the really expensive white advent candles that I ordered specifically LAST JULY so that this December my children and I would embark on a journey to Bethlehem together, which would lead to serious revival in the hearts of all of us.

And, I am sure, they would beg me to please, please Mommy, return all our gifts to Target and the Educational Learning Toy Store where you always buy us those wooden Melissa and Doug toys that we never ever play with anyway, and let us give all the money to families in Cambodia. Or to the Salvation Army Man.

No, I would decide that we don’t need to journey to Bethlehem this year. And that would make me feel better, because I keep forgetting to get out the advent wreath.

8. Finally, I would decide that I do not need to do any sort of major Christmas Craft project with my children.

*We would not make any oven mitts with fabric painted handprints on them.

*We would refrain from making any sort of painted wooden frame for the latest adorable Christmas picture project.

*We certainly would not spend any time making homemade bookmarks that are so large that when the grandparents open them up, I have to exclaim in a loud cheery voice, “Oh, look, Grandma! Look at your wonderful bookmark!”

After this list, I think I need to go and put on “It’s a Wonderful Life” and make myself a cup of eggnog. It’s either that or I’m booking a cruise for me and my husband to Porta Vallerta. I’m sure the grandparents won’t mind having my children stay with them over Christmas. After all, they can call me on Christmas morning on my IPhone - it will be just like I’m right there.