Kicking, Screaming, Sitting
“As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her’” (Luke 10:38-42).
My list is a lot shorter lately. Not because I want it that way. No – I have entered this season of stillness kicking and screaming. I know that God is calling me to a place of less activity, less productivity…and it is really scary. I am surprised at myself. Surprised at how much I apparently find my identity in what I accomplish instead of in Jesus.
I must like being busy. I say that I don’t, but if that’s true, then why does my calendar always look like a pencil threw up all over it? Why do I feel panicky but important when I have two things scheduled every day this week? Do you want to get together for lunch? Absolutely. Do we need to talk about important things that only I can help with? I’ll be there.
So now I’m doing less. “How do you feel now that you’re doing less? Now that you’ve cut back?” a friend asked last week.
“I feel…guilty. And lazy,” I declare, wishing it were not true and wondering why I can’t kick guilt to the curb once and for all.
I reread the story of Mary and Martha this morning, looking for a clue. I completely get how Martha is feeling. She is so worried, she is so busy. So many details. So many needs that only she can fill. If Martha doesn’t do it, it won’t get done.
Mary is, of course, with Jesus. She is sitting at His feet listening. Completely focused on the Lord in that moment. Mary is relaxed. Mary is not guilty or busy.
God is calling me to linger at His feet right now. ”Come and sit,” the Spirit whispers.
I worry about that sitting. If I come and sit, perhaps I will never think about the details again. Martha will resent me. The work will not get done. I will get out of balance in sitting at His feet.
That I’ll get out of balance in sitting at His feet? Is this what I think, really?
I want to fully surrender to the Lord in this time. To trust where He has me. To run into the house, past the frantic and familiar woman who is in the middle of five different things, and plant myself firmly on the ground at the feet of my Saviour.
To take a breath. And another. Then to listen as He begins to speak.
Father, thank you for this season of stillness. Thank you for calling me every day in every season of my life into your glorious Presence. I love you. I adore you. Come and take complete control. In the name of your Son, Amen.
It IS hard to be still, isn’t it? There are always so many things crying out for our attention. God is pleased that you are being still, no matter how hard the struggle…
I can relate to this more than I care to admit!! Slowing down is so important. When I do, though, that little voice inside me reminds me of all I am falling behind on. Its a choice of who to listen to: that nagging voice in my head or Jesus. Hmmm….I think I’ll choose Jesus
I am so looking forward to you sharing things about your prayer basket. I LOVE hearing what others do. I’m in the process of sitting up a little corner in the basement that is completely quiet so I can really enjoy God’s presence. It seems like my house is never quiet, no matter how early I get up!!
The more you become calm and able to be still, the more you become like Jesus. I love when you say “Jesus was never in a hurry.” It convicts me evreytime. And it is so hard to practice this because our world is loud, busy and chaotic. It thrives on activity. Even our churches are go,go,go..serve, serve serve… do, do, do. Yet if we draw our example from Christ, we would take a lesson and slow down. You dont read “After quickly healing the leper, Jesus grabbed some unleavened bread, washed it down real fast with some pomegrant juice and hurried to the next town.” or “After sitting in the garden praying to His Father all evening, Jesus frantically ran about because he had so much to do in such a short time. He felt so guilty that he spent all evening in prayer when he could have been out healing people.” That is not our Jesus. If it was we wouldnt worship Him.
I am so proud of you and excited to see what God will do as you learn this.
Father, help me learn this too. Use this blog to convict the hearts of us who have given our lives over to busyness and guilt. Help us to choose this day what is right. Slow us down and draw us to your feet. I pray through this time of stillness, this jouney, that Jess would grab the hearts of many with Your words in her life and pull them to a place of unhurried stillness. Teach us all that oh God. Calm us. Quiet us. Still us. IN Jesus Name make us more like You. Amen
Oh, girl, this is SO good. Much of it is descriptive of myself, too. I definitely fill up my schedule all while saying I hate being so busy. And recently I TRIED lessening things. (I really did; I’m still busy, but far less busy than I was.) And for a season it was so, so sweet. My problem is that instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus, I started using that “extra” time to do things like read fiction or blogs. And I was sitting at Jesus’s feet the same amount I was before I dropped things. Ugh. When will I learn?