Chapters

I have a passion to write in a way that resonates deeply with people – in a way that brings them right to the face of Jesus and somehow encourages them personally in their own relationship with Him. I also try to keep in mind that the majority of my readers are moms who, like me, are surrounded by the sweet (but very, very loud) noise of young children; they are women who, also like me, are trying to serve God while spending most of their time at home.

So I am cautious about what I write. I don’t know how much of my personal journey with the Lord I should share, because I’m not sure how relevant it would be to anyone else’s life.

It seems doubtful to me that it could encourage anyone, and I wonder if anyone would understand. I feel alone in my story, uncertain that it can glorify His name.

For example, today I am struggling with a really unique type of anxiety that has its roots in my childhood. How do I explain that I am having difficulty eating and sleeping because I am not currently living in chaos? That some part of my brain doesn’t know how to function without a crisis? Is that too bizarre? Will that ring true in the hearts of people who read what I am saying?

What a weird anxiety, I think. It wouldn’t bless anyone, I decide, to hear how God is taking me through this. So I’ll try to find another funny story about my toddler’s bad behavior while the deep currents of my heart remain unspoken.

My story, my journey, is complicated, sad, and chaotic. But it’s my story. His story. A love story between God and Jess. And the chapter of the day is Him showing me how to handle living without pain.

And though the details may be different, what’s true for all of us is that He wants to come in and redeem every part of our lives and give us a glorious future. He “rejoices over us with joyful singing” (Zeph. 3:17).

He is writing a love story for all of His children.

Open up my heart, Lord, and let your words come out. I submit to you this day.