Wailing and Ashes

This morning I stumbled out of bed and made my way to my favorite place in the house. Before I could even “begin” praying (I think the Holy Spirit thinks I am so hilarious, but not as hilarious as I think I am), God began immediately speaking to me about an issue that needed instant repentance. There was no gentle process of revealing the issue through His Word. He just showed me the sin quickly and firmly.

This was not a time of repentance where my response was one of wailing and throwing ashes on my head. Maybe it should have been, I don’t know. I asked for the Lord’s forgiveness, but even as I did, I realized I was not having a soft heart about the my sin.

If I don’t see the full weight of death that my sin brings, I’ll do it again.

So I’m praying a several things. First, that God would give me eyes to see life and death in this area of my life. Second, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, I would choose life! Third, that my desires would line up with the Lord’s desires in this issue….even if it means wailing and ashes.

I know He can change my heart because He has changed it a thousand times before. That’s what I love about walking with Him–I can look back and see His faithfulness to me, so I can trust His faithfulness to me in this situation, too.

Lord, thank you for your forgiveness. I receive it this day! I ask that You would change my heart and my desires to become like those of Your Son. I love You…