Mountains and Valleys

I am on top of the mountain right now. Things are going really well in my life. The thing is, this is a completely unfamiliar place for me. So here is my response: total anxiety and guilt.

First, I asked my prayer partner for prayer. “I am just not, um, really needing to be delivered from stuff right now. Stuff is going well. I feel really happy.” I asked her to please pray for me to not be too happy and then (sometimes I want to look at myself in the mirror and say, “Jess, bless your heart”) I asked her if maybe I was manic. Yes, manic.

That is my response to a season of blessing from God.

The thing is, I have been in the valley for most of my life. My childhood was extremely chaotic and painful. I have spent the last few years working through my past, becoming emotionally healed and more like Jesus. I have put in the time to walk through the valley, trusting that the Lord would deliver me.

Now that He has, I’m freaking out.

I was reading James this morning. The first chapter says in verses 2-3, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” I’m all over that verse. That verse sums up a lot of my life with God. I have a trial, He is faithful, and my faith grows.

Later in the chapter, James writes that (verse 17) “every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights”. So why am I surprised when my Father God is giving me this gift of a season of joy and promotion and deliverance?

If I can trust Him in the dark, I can trust Him in the light, too. I can trust that He will still talk to me in every detail right now. I can have confidence that the Holy Spirit will whisper direction about my precious children, encourage me about making dinner, and lead me in every aspect of my life. If I step out of His will, He will let me know.

Psalm 23 tells me that God “lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength.”

He’s renewing my strength right now. He is a good parent and He knows what I need. So I am going to lay down guilt and anxiety at His throne and walk away dancing.

I love you, Jesus.